an idea that stayed as such

It's fall.  And for all my creative friends, that means cookies, and candy, and cupcakes, and pumpkin bread, and pumpkin scones, and everything else in between.  I have sampled a few treats, ogled their Facebook photos and blog posts, and finally I determined that it was time for me to make some "Orange and Blackish Looking Bark", not to be confused with Halloween Bark or Harvest Bark as mine takes no religious stand.  [NOTE: "Harvest" is a Conservative American Christian celebration where kids dress up in costumes and play games and get candy at night on October 31.  How dare you compare it with Halloween! By finding an alternate "H" word and hosting it at church, we have completely exorcised Satan from that ghastly (and ghostly) holiday.  Our Harvest Festivals celebrate the bounty of the harvest, and we do that by passing out packaged, processed sugar treats to children in face paint.]  I packed up the baby and headed to Winco Supermarket to pick up my ingredients. If you're interested, here is the recipe.

Winco is a great store with good prices and they have these bulk bins where you can load up on ingredients and just pay by the pound.  I was talking about this with some friends last weekend who were saying that the per-pound price on chocolate melting disks at Winco is cheaper than a couponed-Wilton-purchase at a craft store.  So I was ready to score a deal!  And even though I didn't have my ATM/Debit card, I figured that wouldn't be a problem because I had $15 in cash.  $15 would be plenty of money to buy chocolate melting disks, Oreos, and  candy corn! And look - cake mixes are on sale for $.79! I'll grab two and a can of frosting for $.99!

I combed the aisles of the store but I could not find any Halloween Oreo Cookies (the kind with orange frosting instead of white).  Bust.  I grabbed a package of white frosting cookies for $2.78.  Then I headed to the bulk section - candy corn for $1.38/pound!!  I shoveled it into the bag because who knew how much candy corn I should put on it, right?  Walking to the hanging scale to measure my candy, an older woman cut me off and as she did, she began to let out the longest fart in all of human history.  Literally the seconds ticked by (over 5, I SWEAR TO YOU) and her buns made her a one-man-band that would rival even Burt in "Mary Poppins."  As subtly as I could, I backed away and sought refuge in the coffee grinder.  Never has the aroma of coffee been such a comfort to me.  I watched her weigh her raw pumpkin seeds (strike one for clean eating), acting as if she did not just perform "Taps," and since she was taking her sweet, melodious time, I went to another aisle to get a scale and the chocolate.

The only kind of melting disks they had were bittersweet chocolate.  I couldn't remember if that was the right kind or how much I actually needed, so I grabbed two pounds. Holy COW - $9.30 for two pounds!!  Just as I was leaving to head to the check out stand with only 15 minutes until Pinkalicious was done with school, I remembered that I was supposed to drop off cookies to the preschool that afternoon.  I began to total up my purchases as I walked toward the cookies and discovered that I had already picked up over $19 worth of stuff!  It was in that pinch for time that I broke a personal commitment; I started taking stuff out of the cart and leaving it on random shelves.  You may think this is no big deal, but as a former Vons employee, I vowed I would never do it.  Well, vow shmow, because I had a kid to pick up!  I pushed the cart, I calculated on my phone, and I left a direct trail worthy of Hansel and Gretel from the cereal aisle over to the bakery section.  After much anguishing internal debate, I checked out with Oreos, bittersweet melting disks and peanut butter cookies for school.  At home that afternoon, I looked up the recipe for the bark and saw that it called for white chocolate.


Last night I grabbed a mug of milk and went to town on a hand-full of double stuff Oreos (which really is only four) and mourned for my idea of Orange and Blackish Looking Bark that is lost with my other attempts in the "Crap. Well, too late now" idea folder.  But it is with resolve that I write this today to commemorate my search for a new recipe which requires multiple poundage of bittersweet chocolate.  When I find a recipe this time, I plan to begin with writing the instructions down.