Thursday, April 28, 2011

Who Cares? I DO!

I am boycotting.  I boycott a lot of things that don't really matter to anyone but me.  Here are a few:

1.  Tarzan's Treehouse. It used to be The Swiss Family Robinson's Treehouse in Disneyland.  I refuse to climb it now that it's been redone.  One day I will get over it for the sake of my children blah blah, but until then, I find it an abomination.

2.  Mr. Pibb. Anyone who thinks it's a Dr. Pepper replacement clearly practices taste-bud-abstinence. I am tired of the furrowed brows every time I am offered it in place of DP and I pick Coke instead.  

3.  OB Tampons.  You have got to be kidding me with the whole no-applicator thing.  Their trademark "Just try OB and you'll see!" should be replaced by the less-catchy but more appropriate "Just try OB and become Lady MacBeth!"

4.  Five for Fighting.  Stop whining, grow a pair, and prove that you're more manly than Kermit the Frog.

5. "Water for Elephants."  How does this movie exist outside of a Conan O'Brien sketch? A Depression-Era drama about a boy in his late teens who is orphaned after a car wreck kills his parents and is forced to hop a circus train where he rooms with a dwarf and a dog, falls in love with a married horse performer, and escapes the circus with several animals to start his own circus.  Who is taking this seriously?!  

I would rather wear an OB tampon as I climb Tarzan's Treehouse while sipping a Mr. Pibb and listening to Five for Fighting than waste a minute of my life watching "Water for Elephants."  This declaration has therefore sealed my fate that the first boycott I break will be for that sham of a film.  Lord help me not to own the DVD.

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2 comments:

  1. I am SO with you on the first three! Although I only practice boycotting one and three because when forced to drink Mr. Pibb at restaurants, I will. This is only because I don't like cola and well...when I need caffeine, I need caffeine. :)

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  2. Allie, are you anti- iced tea? That's always my back up. =)
    So, how did you like Water for Elephants?

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